Cheating is one of the most common and most damaging situations in today's relationships. Although what we know about human psychology is still limited and there are multiple reasons that affect human behavior, there are some psychological explanations for cheating. So, what is the basis of cheating? What causes the feeling of cheating? What causes infidelity in relationships? Here are 10 reasons for cheating...
Cem Keçe, a sexual therapist, said that spouses indirectly cheating on each other can turn into real cheating over time and explained the 10 types of cheating. These people exhibit behaviors that convey the message to their spouses that they are with you until a better alternative comes along.
WHY DO PEOPLE CHEAT? REASONS FOR CHEATING
1) Not being attached: Relationships that are maintained without attachment to the partner are hanging by a thread. In this type of relationships, the partners' common goals are different; one lives their relationship with commitment, while the other waits for a good opportunity to arise.
These types of people do not miss any opportunity that comes their way. For this reason, a strong bond is never formed. Because they do not fully devote themselves to the relationship, they do not value and attach importance to their spouses.
2) Lying and keeping secrets: Lying is a deception in itself. Having secrets that spouses keep from each other and hiding something that needs to be said is also a kind of lie.
In some cases, spouses lie or keep secrets because they are uncomfortable with the reaction they will face. In fact, when they do this, they cheat on their spouses by going behind their backs and deceiving them.
3) Comparison: It is a common situation for people to compare their partner with someone else in the later stages of the relationship. Deep wounds can be opened in the soul of the spouse who is often compared to other people's spouses.
As a result of the comparison, the behavior of people who are dissatisfied with their spouses towards their spouses begins to be disrespectful and unappreciative. In this case, the bond of love, respect and trust in the relationship is damaged.
4) Best friend dating: Friendships that usually start between colleagues are continued under the guise of friendship when they cannot turn into a clearly named relationship.
In such situations, which can be called 'bestie dating', there is no direct sexual or emotional relationship, but they know everything about each other's lives. Friendship dating, where an unconfessed platonic love is experienced, is hidden from the spouses.
5) Not keeping promises: When starting a relationship, partners make a verbal or unwritten commitment to trust each other. After all, no one would consider starting a relationship with someone they don't trust.
Spouses make promises and promises to each other for a common future. However, failure to fulfill these promises and promises undermines trust.
6) Disclosing: When spouses disclose private issues about each other or their relationship by sharing them with someone else, even from their close circle, they undermine trust, which is one of the most important elements that keep the relationship alive.
It does not matter what the disclosed issue is, how big or small, important or unimportant it is, the important thing is that the confidentiality of the spouse and the relationship is violated and the trust is damaged.
7) Selfishness: In some relationships, one party always wants to take without giving and constantly exhibits self-centered behavior. These types of people often have a narcissistic personality structure and are only interested in themselves. They see themselves as superior to their spouses, do not give importance or value to their spouses, and do not spare time.
Trust in the relationships of these people is built on slippery ground; There is a one-sided effort to make the relationship work because such a relationship continues as long as the other party can be giving.
The other party experiences constant disappointment and disappointment because their wishes and expectations are not met, and their confidence in themselves, their spouse and their relationship is damaged.
8) Injustice: Justice, which forms the basis of the relationship, is at least as important as trust. All emotions, responsibilities and sexuality should be shared fairly.
Choices and behaviors made by one of the spouses, thinking only of themselves and disregarding the other, create injustice. While women are generally unfair in terms of spending, men are unfair in taking responsibility and work to be done.
These cause great tension in the relationship after a while. It is also unfair to make fait accomplis that leave no choice but to take important decisions on oneself and accept them on the other. And in relationships where the foundation of justice is shaken, the foundation of trust is also shaken to the same extent...
9) Disrespect: Attitudes and attitudes that include behaviors such as belittling, scolding, belittling, mocking, humiliating, humiliating in front of others are clearly emotional deception. Mutual respect is an indispensable element of a relationship, because respect and love are concepts that are closely interconnected, like two sides of a coin. There cannot be love without respect, and there cannot be full respect without love. Therefore, if the spouses' respect for each other decreases or ends, their love may inevitably come to an end.
10) Coldness: Cold winds may blow between couples due to what each other did or did not do. The party that starts to treat his/her spouse coldly and turns his/her back does not care about his/her spouse and does not care about him or her. Usually, this coldness also manifests itself in sexual life. The other party does not realize that this coldness is a gun pointed at them.
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