How Can You Approach Your Trauma-Experiencing Child?

How can you approach your traumatized child? Before we get into the topic, what is trauma? And what are the effects on human psychology? It would be useful to give general information about the subjects.

Trauma: In fact, the word trauma contains a certain negativity and compulsion. Before making a clear definition of trauma , separating it as physical trauma and mental trauma will contribute to the intelligibility of the subject. Physical trauma is the deterioration of the integrity of any part of the body or an organ for a reason that develops against one's own will.

Spiritual trauma is the wounds inflicted on the human soul by negative factors that develop completely out of the will of the person, again for a reason beyond the control of the person, and the repair and treatment of the wounds opened in the human spirit takes much more time than the treatment of physical trauma. Sometimes it can even leave deep traces in human life.

The Effect of Spiritual Trauma on Children
It is necessary to look at the traumas that can be effective on children first. A child is a completely different ocean and raising a child entails a great responsibility. In fact, just as a driver's license is required to drive, spouses must go through a psychological competence process before becoming parents. I wish it was possible to take away the rights of parents from people who do not value the child and do not understand the spirit of the child. It is a fact that should not be forgotten that any type of domestic violence causes a great trauma on the child .

Contributing or being instrumental in the birth of a baby is not enough to be a parent. Being a parent requires dedication and responsibility, it requires vision. It is not possible to talk about communication where there is no love and respect. Where there is no communication, it is possible to talk about a trauma at any time.

Communication Starts in the Womb
When the baby is a few months old in the womb, the contact with the outside begins. The baby who perceives the outside sounds will be affected by the loud noise. This is exactly why experts advise expectant families to talk to and love their babies. If one asks what will happen otherwise, the answer will be as follows: Parents who constantly fight while the baby is in the mother's womb will cause the baby to become timid and insecure in the future.

Problems That Can Cause Trauma
In fact, when trauma and child are associated, a very complex situation can arise. Everything that may have a traumatic effect on the child should be under the control of the family.  There are many factors that will have an impact on the mood and psychology of the child from birth to the whole process of being raised.

    Family-related factors
    Environmental factors
    Factors arising from the child himself

Of course , the factors that affect the child 's mental state and originate from the family, and the effect of the family in which the child is brought up and in which he lives, on the child's physiological and spiritual development are of course indisputable. Children will be shaped according to these behaviors in families that are overprotective, overly oppressive or, on the contrary, extremely comfortable and raised without prohibiting anything. The erroneous attitude of the family, which constantly blames, criticizes, compares the child with others, and displays an excessively oppressive attitude will cause such a negative effect on the child's psychology. The child will always experience a sense of shame, and will be an individual who cannot trust himself and is incapable of doing anything alone.

On the contrary, a child who grows up in an environment where everything he does is tolerated will be a cruel, ruthless, disrespectful and disapproved individual who does not respect people and thinks that the world revolves around him. In fact, the events we are talking about are the events caused by the upbringing mistakes that the family applied knowingly or unknowingly. And the effects of these events on the child do not even qualify as trauma . However, this is the biggest damage.

Talking about a negative and concrete trauma on the child is the result of events such as domestic violence and child abuse, which have greater consequences and impact. There are different issues that may come to mind when it comes to child abuse. Deprivation of the child's natural rights, such as sheltering, clothing, eating, drinking and education, these are unpleasant issues that range from employing children at a young age to sexual abuse. All this causes a mental depression, or rather a great trauma, on the child .

Children exposed to such behaviors will be timid, cowardly and shy, unable to express themselves, withdrawn or, on the contrary, aggressive, nervous, aggressive people. It is very difficult and sometimes impossible for an innocent and small child to cope with the negative consequences of all these negative behaviors alone. In most cases, professional help may be required.

Factors affecting the mental state of the child and arising from the environment
Environmental factors are among the factors that affect the child's development and mental state.also occupies an important place. When it comes to the environment, the first thing that comes to mind is relatives, neighbors, and later on, the school is included in the scope of the environment. Children will inevitably have to meet the environmental factor after a certain period of time. This is an inevitable result of living as a society. In a situation where parents must be extremely careful, no one can determine the intentions of people, even if they are relatives. The traumatized child will reveal this situation with their behavior. Here, the duty of the family is to be careful and to be able to control their child. The child who is exposed to an undesirable behavior becomes withdrawn, his actions may be dominated by timidity, introversion and silence.

The child's own factors, sometimes the child may experience trauma for no psychological reason. A neighbor's child or a new sibling who will join the family may experience an emotional trauma as a result of experiencing extreme jealousy.

How Can You Approach Your Trauma-Experiencing Child?
First of all, it's worth mentioning. Love overcomes all obstacles. Whatever the cause of your child's trauma, your approach must be compassionate and understanding. Just as we go to the doctor for all kinds of physical ailments or take our children to the doctor when necessary, we should never hesitate to seek professional help when it comes to mental trauma. Getting professional help will help us reach the solution in a shorter way. The longer the process of overcoming the trauma, the more frayed the child and family will be.

In case of trauma on the child, the physician to be consulted should be pedagogues trained on children . The pedagogue, who is an expert in his work, will want to cooperate with the family after meeting with the child privately and will shape the treatment process with medication when necessary. In this process, it is absolutely necessary not to miss the cooperation with the doctor. Trauma symptoms vary according to the age group of the child.

While the symptoms observed when the age group is younger may appear in the form of disturbance of eating and sleeping patterns and loss of appetite, the symptoms of trauma appear in the form of alienation from school and indifference towards lessons or withdrawing from friends at older ages. In this case, too much work falls on our teachers. Observing the children and informing the family of the symptoms they notice will have positive effects on the child's mental health.