Here are some suggestions from the expert for shyness to families...
We can also think of adolescence as a kind of dough; because we begin to discover ourselves by interpreting the experiences we have just experienced and the information we have just learned with the experiences and information we have experienced in the past. As it is known, many physical, mental and emotional changes are experienced in adolescents during this period. In addition to the visible changes, some adolescent individuals may also exhibit behaviors such as shyness and, accordingly, inability to express themselves and avoiding social environments.
Being a 'mature child' is a very accepted concept in our society; but it should be underlined that the important thing is that the individual behaves according to his/her peers. Contrary to popular belief, rebelliousness or stubbornness is not the only sign of puberty. Is your child mature? Or does he have trouble expressing his feelings and thoughts?
WHAT IS SHAME?
Low self-esteem, inadequacy in social relations, fear of being criticized by others, self-criticism and dislike, focusing more on thoughts, avoiding verbal communication, and caring about the opinions of others are observed in the person experiencing the feeling of shame. Although they want to be in the group, they cannot find the courage to achieve this and therefore stay away from the group. In adolescents with this feature, 'must' and 'must' are frequently encountered. They have difficulty letting life flow; because, in general, they always have 'must haves' in their thoughts.
It is commonly observed that they are unhappy with loneliness, helplessness, lack of self-confidence and always focusing on the negative aspects of themselves.
ELEMENTS TRIGGERING Shyness
FAMILY STRUCTURE:
When the person is raised, exposed to much criticism by his family or environment, especially when he is shamed in public at an earlier age, there may be negative situations in the self-perception of the person. Shyness can also arise when he thinks that what he says or does is 'nonsense'.
When children are raised with protection, they become accustomed to having everything taken care of by their parents; Because everything that can be thought of, their parents think and do for them. With adolescence, a more individual path is taken and when they do not know what to do on their own, they may turn inward and display more shy behaviors.
When more responsibilities (according to his age) are given to him than he can take, the individual gets rid of the features brought by his age and surrenders himself to 'musts' and 'possessions' at an early age. On the one hand, he has things to do, on the other hand, the excitement of his age and development. In such a situation, the person experiences a conflict within himself, suppresses his excitement and may display a more introverted attitude.
If there is a generally shy structure in the family, the individual will take his parents as role-models while he is growing up and he will exist in this structure. From this point of view, a person can learn shy personality traits from his environment.
PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA:
In order to better see and name the changes in the individual, it is necessary to be a good observer. How long has this shyness existed, was it always like this or did it happen all of a sudden, how is his behavior at school, how is his behavior at home, how is it in friendships and in different environments? It is necessary to question them; because important clues can be caught from here and it can be reached whether the main problem is caused by shyness or the results of a trauma.
WHAT CAN BE DONE FOR Shyness
SUGGESTIONS TO THE FAMILY:
Above all, love. In fact, the problem is mostly caused by the inability to express love rather than lack of love. The family should be able to show their love to their child in a beautiful language. Love is not actually criticizing or protecting the person, but understanding the child and spending time with him.
The family should support the adolescent to enter different environments. Every individual has strengths and weaknesses. While it is not very motivating to bring the weak points to light, it can also create a lack of self-confidence in the person. As a good observer, the areas of interest of the adolescent can be discovered. When he has a hobby, he can regain his self-confidence by going to friend groups or courses on that subject.
EXPERT ASSISTANCE:
When the family feels inadequate, they should consult a specialist.
The specialist first determines the symptoms by taking a good anamnesis during the interview with the family and the adolescent. He looks at the communication between the family. The main purpose is to establish a good and reliable relationship with the adolescent individual. A trusting relationship can heal most wounds and encourages the individual to express themselves.
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