Ways to overcome the feeling of shyness are explained with the right tips. In particular, 4 practical steps did not go unnoticed.
According to the news in CNN Turk; Shy people also want to be close to others, but they often avoid social situations altogether for fear of rejection or criticism.
Because of this, shy people often feel lonely and isolated, increasing their risk of developing other problems such as depression or anxiety.
Most people experience shyness at some point in their lives. However, for some, their sense of shyness can be so strong that it prevents them from participating in many social situations.
Shyness and Psychology
Numerous studies show that shyness repeats itself in a vicious circle in which a person experiences an intense fear of negative evaluation when approaching a social situation and then avoids such situations altogether.
Although relief may appear at first, this behavior often leads to feelings of shame and guilt. In addition, loneliness, depression and social anxiety often occur.
In order to cope with these feelings, your feelings may turn into anger and you may blame others. You may view others as unsympathetic and unsupportive, and this reinforces your desire to avoid them.
Research indicates that childhood shyness is significantly associated with interpersonal and internal adjustment difficulties in early adulthood. Some gender differences also emerged, indicating that shyness had a more significant effect on women than on men.
These results show that shyness can be overcome with timely interventions from an early age.
In other words, given that social skills develop over time like other skills, avoiding social situations can result in poor social conformity, while the right methods of coping with social situations help suppress shyness.
CAN BE CONNECTED WITH A SMART PHONE
An interesting study published in the famous scientific journal Social Science Computer Review points out that shyness and loneliness are also linked to smartphone addiction.
The study provides clear evidence that the use of smartphones for various purposes (information search, social networks, etc.) strengthens feelings of loneliness and shyness in people who feel lonely and shy more often. Some people try to overcome their shyness with alcohol or drugs, which only increases the risk of developing other addictions and using harmful substances.
HOW TO OVERCOME Shyness?
There are certain ways to overcome shyness, meaning you can improve social skills.
1. PLAN FOR SUCCESS
Unlike introversion, shyness is characterized by a strong fear that others will evaluate us negatively. Therefore, in social situations, we often think about how we should not do something wrong instead of focusing on how to do it.
One of the ways to reduce anxiety and shame in front of others is to think about how we can make a particular social situation successful. For example, if the thought of chatting about football scares you, think ahead about topics that suit you. What current events can you talk about? What is going on in your life right now and which ones are you comfortable sharing with others? What do you have in common with the people who will be there?
You can also craft an exit strategy, but let this be your last option. Exposure to fear is the best way to overcome fear, but it's also important to feel in control of the situation and your behavior. If you know you have a worst-case exit strategy, you won't feel trapped.
2. Engage with OTHER PEOPLE
Try to take the focus away from yourself and show interest in the people around you. Ask yourself:
- Who are they and why are they here?
- What are his interests and hobbies?
- What difficulties do they face in life?
That way, you can focus on something else that will help you start a conversation with others and get to know them better. Everyone has a story to tell, find out what it's about and listen carefully.
People love to talk about themselves, so you can easily become a very interesting person by showing interest in others. Be careful not to ask people to share more than they can do at the time.
3. GIVE YOURSELF A SPECIFIC ROLE
Many shy people are actually very successful doctors, lawyers, professors, and entrepreneurs. But when their role is no longer determined by the work they do, their self-confidence is lost.
When you have a certain role, a certain meaning is given to you for your behavior. Most people want to be liked and accepted by others, regardless of their situation. For this reason, some psychologists recommend giving ourselves the role of a person who will make others feel the way we want to feel.
4. SOFT YOUR INTERNAL DIALOGUE
Shy people are often very self-critical and their internal dialogue can be very harsh and include words they would never say to others.
When you judge yourself harshly, it's easier to assume that others will judge you the same way. Your inner criticisms can cause a lot of emotional damage and leave you restless and insecure.
The best way to defeat this critic is to join forces with an even more powerful sidekick, the inner voice that plays the role of your best friend.
Start noticing the good things about yourself and learn how to confront your inner critic. When the critic starts blaming you for the fear you feel, remember that there is no one in this world who likes rejection, but everyone survives in such situations.
If your critic is telling you that no one will ever love you, remind yourself that the most important thing is to love yourself.
When you learn to speak to yourself more kindly, social situations no longer have the power to hurt you. Also, with each new social situation, your social skills get stronger, and the more you do this, the better you'll feel.
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