Throughout human history, the emotion of love has been one of the most complex and powerful emotional experiences of humans. Love is an emotion that fills people’s hearts and deeply affects their lives. Love brings both happiness and sadness, and has inspired art, literature, music, and film. So what is the origin of love, and why is it such a powerful emotion?
The origin of love comes from one of the basic human instincts, the drive to “mate and reproduce.” People desire to mate to ensure the continuation of their species, and this forms the basis of romantic relationships. However, love is not just a biological process. Love requires emotional connections, passion, loyalty, and deep understanding.
There are many types of love. Some people experience romantic love, while others experience love with family or friends, for whom they feel deep affection and commitment. Love can manifest itself in many different forms, but what they all have in common is the desire to connect people and create loving relationships.
The emotional and psychological effects of love are profound. When we fall in love, the chemical balance in the brain changes, and the release of the happiness hormones serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin increases. This explains why love makes people feel excited, enthusiastic and energetic. It also makes us more empathetic, making us more sensitive to understanding and meeting the needs of others.
However, love is an emotion that does not only bring happiness. Problems in relationships, separations, infidelities and heartbreaks are the negative aspects that love brings. The risks and pains that love brings can scare people, but it is important to remember that love offers high rewards along with high risks. Love increases the meaning and value of life and gives people strength and courage.
There are ways to strengthen love. Values such as communication, loyalty, understanding, devotion and respect form the basis of love relationships. Love requires constant work and investment. Despite the difficulties encountered in relationships, couples should struggle with their love and commitment to each other and aim to grow together.
In conclusion, love is one of the most powerful and complex emotional experiences in human life. Love is an emotion that connects people, provides happiness and excitement, but also involves risks and pain. Love gives meaning and depth to people's lives and is one of life's most valuable experiences. Although love can sometimes be difficult, people must be brave to seek and experience love and make this powerful emotion a part of their lives.
1.2. The Magic of Love
Eyes lock onto each other, hearts race, a smile fills the face, and butterflies dance in the pit of the stomach. This is how the magic of love begins. Love is one of the most complex and profound emotional experiences in human history. Everyone has experienced love, a feeling that is full of joy and happiness, but also pain and disappointment. But many people wonder how long love can last. Does love last? Can this magical feeling really last forever?
In order to understand the lifespan of love, it is important to first understand the nature of love. Love is a complex emotional state and can vary from person to person. In some relationships, love grows stronger over time and can last a lifetime, while in other relationships, it can wane and end over time. Elements such as harmony, mutual understanding, respect, communication and trust between two people are the main factors that affect the duration of love. In a relationship based on solid foundations, love can be long-lasting and deepen over time. In such relationships, love can become a shared journey and couples grow together, support each other and overcome difficulties.
However, every relationship is unique and the duration of love can vary from person to person. People have varying emotional and personal needs over time. Romantic love in a relationship can develop into friendship or deep affection. As people grow, mature, and have different experiences, the nature of love can change. Each individual responds to love according to their own family and childhood heritage and genetic makeup. Therefore, it is difficult to make an accurate prediction about the duration of love.
There are many factors that affect the longevity of love. First, harmony and mutual understanding in a relationship are important. When two people understand each other, support each other emotionally and trust each other, love lasts. Good communication skills help solve problems and contribute to the longevity of love.
Another factor is time and experience. Relationships can change over time and love can move into a different phase. Romantic love can turn into deep affection, friendship or respect over time. This affects the dynamics of love in a relationship and determines its lifespan.
Another factor that affects the lifespan of love is the realities and difficulties of life. Factors such as work stress, financial difficulties, and family problems can put pressure on a relationship and cause love to weaken. Effort and endurance are required to cope with such difficulties. Commitment and mutual support between partners can ensure that love continues even in difficult times.
Another important factor that determines the longevity of love is the person himself. Individuals' emotional needs and expectations can change over time. A person can experience different types of love at different stages of their life, which can affect the longevity of love. Individuals' adaptation to their own personal growth and change can support the continuity of love.
In conclusion, it is difficult to give a definitive answer about the lifespan of love. Every relationship is unique and the duration of love depends on various factors. Elements such as harmony, communication, mutual understanding and solidarity in the relationship can increase the lifespan of love. However, love can change over time and take on different forms. What is important is that the parties in the relationship make an effort to maintain their love and commitment to each other.
It should be noted that love is not limited to romantic relationships. Love can also be felt with family members, friends, and others. In such relationships, love can be long-lasting and meaningful.
1.3. The Attraction of Opposites
A happy relationship does not require men and women to be similar. On the contrary, just like the opposite poles of a magnet, the “power of attraction” between a man and a woman is created by their differences. Men who fall in love with women who are warm, receptive, fragile, sensitive, loving and self-sacrificing are usually cold, aggressive, tough, logical and determined. These people want to balance the masculine aspects of their being with the feminine qualities of women. This is an important indicator that women and men are different from each other but they are also one with each other.
By loving and accepting the feminine qualities of a woman, a man becomes more open to love and accepts the feminine side within himself. While touching the softness of a woman, he awakens his own softness but at the same time preserves his tough structure. In short, a man's coldness is balanced by a woman's warmth; his aggressiveness and toughness by a woman's sensitivity and fragility; and his strength by a woman's love. We approach the opposite sex because we are different from them, and because of the potential within us to resemble them, we can get along with them, establish closeness and communication. If a woman and a man do not respect and value their complementary differences, the attraction between them will soon disappear and they will lose their attractiveness. "Loss of attractiveness" occurs in 3 ways:
- Men and women suppress their true selves to please each other.
- Men and women attempt to change each other according to the image they have created.
- Men and women cannot express their wishes and desires because they cannot risk being rejected.
1.3.1. Women are SENCENTRIC, Men are SENCENTRIC
For a woman, her relationship and partner are the center of her life, even before herself. For a man, life comes first, then beloved. In this respect, women are more selfless, that is, “SEN-centered” , while men are more selfish, that is, “ME-centered” . A woman shares her entire life with a man, she wants him to have everything. When it comes to her partner and relationship, the waters stop flowing. For her, her relationship is very important and valuable and will last forever. For a man, himself and his freedom come before everything. He does not put his partner and relationship at the center of his life; his work and friends are also very important to him. He does not like to make sacrifices very much. He lives in the present, not in the past or the future, and does not want to share everything he experiences with his partner. Women love details, can sense the changes in the tone of voice and facial expressions of the person they are talking to and can easily understand their mood, and they have a higher ability to empathize. Men, on the other hand, approach events holistically and ignore details. For this reason, they cannot easily understand the changes in the other person’s mood.
1.3.2. Women Talk a Lot, Men Talk Less
The most obvious difference between men and women is related to their speech. You touch a woman and hear a thousand sighs; you get words out of a man with pliers. The reason for this is their anatomical structures because the centers in the brain that control the ability to speak work differently.
By nature, men talk thoughtfully, focus on a single topic, and want to reach a conclusion and find a solution for the topic they are focused on. Women, on the other hand, think by talking. By nature, they can also focus on more than one topic at a time. When women talk, they expand on the topic in detail, but men want to talk about the main topic as soon as possible, narrowing the conversation. In other words, the speaking and thinking processes in men and women work in opposite ways. Men first think deeply about what they want to talk about, then put it into words, and finally reach a conclusion or solution that they have already decided on. This is why when men talk too much, they speak without thinking and say what they don't want to say. Women, on the other hand, think out loud, that is, they start talking first, then think, and shape their thoughts about the topic while talking, deciding on the conclusion or solution during this process.
1.3.3. Women Guide, Men Offer Solutions
Both men and women expect each other to think, speak and react like them. When a woman speaks, she wants to be listened to and shown closeness, and if she doesn't feel this, she feels that she is not being listened to and not understood. On the other hand, a man does not listen to everything a woman says, he listens to what makes sense to him and suggests a solution. In return, he expects appreciation. In fact, what a woman wants is not a "solution" but "closeness and attention" .
On the other hand, the woman tries to correct the man's behavior and tell him what to do. She thinks that she is protecting and looking after him without realizing that she is trying to change him by behaving like this, but the man thinks that he is being directed and managed. Instead, the man just wants the woman to accept him as he is. Because for men, "being accepted" is a very important need.
1.3.4. Men Like to Keep Distance, Women Like to Remove Distance
For a woman, it is a very important and sensitive issue that her partner values and cares for her. She needs her partner to care about her feelings and thoughts, to take her expectations and needs into consideration, and to show interest and “closeness” . However, even if a man gets closer, he feels the need to distance himself and “move away” because moments when he is alone with himself are vital for him and he expects his partner to allow this. However, women are not aware of this need in men and perceive this as not being loved and rejected by their partners. Men oscillate between independence and attachment in their relationships. Sometimes they approach their partners, and sometimes they feel the need to move away in order to protect their freedom. In this sense, a man can be compared to a kite; the string is always in the woman’s hand, but at the same time, he can fly freely in the sky. A woman who can adjust the tightness of the string in her hand correctly makes both herself and the man happy.
1.3.5. Women Want to Be Loved, Men Want to Be Needed
A woman is sensitive, touchy and emotional. She is usually jealous because she is afraid of losing her man. She needs to be loved and feel loved; she expects compliments, romantic surprises and attention. A man is logical and rational. What is important to him is that a woman feels needed by him. A man is happy and proud that his partner consults him and shows that he needs her. He wants to be flattered, supported and honored with complimentary words. He does not like his partner to see his flaws and to point out his mistakes to his face, he expects that when he does something good, it is immediately seen and appreciated.
Women easily become attached when they fall in love, and feel attractive and happy as long as they receive attention and love. They feel safe and valuable when they are protected by a strong man. Men, on the other hand, need the woman they love to need them in order to be attached. As long as they are approved and appreciated by the woman they love, their self-confidence increases and they feel at peace. At this point, men's biggest mistake is to think that they can solve every problem in their relationships with money. They expect their relationships to be good and happy as long as they provide the woman with well-being. However, emotional security is more important than financial security for women .
1.3.6. Women Love Romance, Men Love Eroticism
Romance and eroticism are ways for people to find love and sexual excitement. Both involve intense emotions such as love, lust, sexual passion, dreams, desires and possession. The main difference between them is that the basis of romance is love and passion, while eroticism is based on sexual passion and lust. While men offer romance to women in order to receive eroticism, women offer eroticism to men in order to receive romance. “Having sex” strengthens the feminine aspects of men and allows their emotions to emerge. In fact, we can also call this a way for men and women to complete each other, in other words, “to become one” .
1.4. Feminine and Masculine
The distinction between men and women is deeply rooted in human physiology and is universal in all societies. When it is said that “men and women are different from each other”, it is thought that men are superior to women, but this is a great mistake. The existence of men and women is meaningful when they experience their differences not as a conflict but as a joyful richness and when they are by each other’s side, that is, when they exist for each other. They are happy when they can create “harmony and compatibility” from their differences, not “separation and contradiction” . As Heraclitus said, “Opposites are useful, the best harmony comes from differences.” Men and women are neither equal to each other nor superior to each other.
There is a close relationship between sexuality and emotionality. However, men and women tend to approach this relationship from very different points of reference. It is no secret that men and women differ, especially in terms of emotionality. The literature on gender differences suggests that one reason for this is demonstrable differences in the way men and women think.
Men are very linear thinkers, going from point A to point B. Women, on the other hand, act by thinking about the bigger picture. Men and women are “biologically and psychologically” different from each other.
They reflect these differences in their feelings, thoughts and behaviors. As a result, they use two very special languages: "Feminine" and "Masculine ." These languages determine their perspectives on life and their lifestyles. Men and women have different stances towards life. Their perspectives, reactions, expectations, preferences and desires are completely different.
When men and women were sent from heaven to earth , they brought with them the most elusive, most mysterious and most powerful emotion, “love” . While experiencing and getting to know this miraculous emotion, women in their “Women’s” language and men in their “Manly” language, they realized that each other’s languages were different and they set out to discover each other. They enjoyed spending time together, sharing things and learning their languages.
As men learned “Women’s” and women learned “Manly,” they understood each other better, accepted and tolerated their differences, and became closer to each other. However, this happiness did not last long. The world quickly became crowded and filled with women and men who spoke only their own languages without trying to learn each other’s… From that day on, nothing was the same. “Women’s” remained a language specific to women, and “Manly” remained a language specific to men. Since they could no longer understand their languages, men and women lost the harmony and balance created by their differences and began to clash, trying to make each other like themselves.
We all dream of having a conflict-free and happy relationship. However, what we need to do to realize this dream is to learn the languages of "Women's" and "Manly" . Because women and men are different from each other in terms of both their physiology and psychology. The differences between women and men are reflected in every moment of life, from their feelings to their thoughts, from their sensations to their behaviors, from their daily lives to their sexual lives.
1.4.1. Two Very Different Languages
Women and men are not "equal" , but "equal" ; they are not "the same" , but "separate" . They exist not to replace each other, but to stand by each other, to share life with equal rights. Women and men use two different languages called "Women's" and "Manly" , which are very similar but very different from each other.
Although the words and expressions of these languages are the same, their usage, meanings and emotional emphasis are very different. However, women and men are often unaware of their differences and think that they are using the same language. This is the main reason for arguments, disagreements and conflicts in relationships. On the other hand, they are attracted to each other because of their differences.
Men are not very fond of talking by nature, and when they do talk, they say what they want to say briefly and concisely and then end the conversation. Women are talkative by nature, on the contrary. In men, the speech center is in the left lobe of the brain. In women, there is another center in the right lobe, slightly smaller than the left lobe. For this reason, girls start talking earlier than boys. Women have more developed linguistic skills. They are more prone to learning a new language and verbal areas than men. While women use approximately 24 thousand words a day, men use 12 thousand words.
The thinking systems of women and men also work differently. Women have the ability to think and make decisions while talking. The most basic needs of women are “to be listened to and understood” . The most natural way for them to meet these needs is to talk. Women like to communicate by talking; talking and sharing their troubles are among their most important emotional needs. Men, on the other hand, only think until they reach the point of making a decision. For them, talking is just an exchange of information. For this reason, men like to communicate with the opposite sex by touching, not talking.
1.4.2. I Language and You Language
“I language” is a form of expression that a person uses to explain their individual reactions, their own feelings and thoughts in the face of a situation. When a person expresses their feelings and thoughts with sentences starting with “I” , they convey their own message without hurting the other person. When I language is used; since the other person is not blamed, they do not become defensive, they do not feel guilty, since the reason for the feeling is clearly stated, healthy communication occurs, criticism is not directed at the person or their character, but at the behavior. The other person tends to think. Since there is no communication problem, there is no disagreement, there is closeness and communication is strengthened.
The “you language” includes accusations and naturally creates a need for defense in the other person. Therefore, the result can be misunderstanding, arguments and fights. The you language includes criticisms and generalizations about the person’s character, not their behavior, and eliminates the desire to communicate again, breaks the other person’s heart, upsets them and causes the source of the problem to be misunderstood.
The "I" language, on the other hand, does not cause the other person to be defensive or feel guilty. It strengthens communication because it does not cause communication problems. "Listening", which includes respecting and accepting the differences inherent in human nature , is an important skill. When there are misunderstandings, it should be remembered that two very different languages are spoken: "Women's" and "Manly" .
1.4.3. Use of the Left Brain and Right Brain
The left and right hemispheres of the brain control different skills. Scientific research enables new discoveries to be made about the human brain every day, revealing the differences between the left brain, which says "but" and "however", and the right brain, which "acts instantly" .
Cold, sharp, angular, distant, hard and rigid with rules, the “left brain” is auditory, focused on words, symbols and numbers, analytical and governed by logic, perceives ideas sequentially and step by step, uses word codes to remember, remembers names not faces, walks step by step to the whole by focusing on details, likes to make lists and plan, has very developed use of time, plans in advance, is prone to procrastination while trying to understand something, tends to be egocentric, has singular and masculine characteristics dominant, cares about things that will make him happy, makes a profit-loss analysis when making decisions and wants to make decisions with faith, tries to understand, looks at the process, fantasies about performance, examines facts and uses will logically.
The “right brain” is focused on images and patterns, is intuitive, is governed by emotions, perceives many ideas at the same time, remembers through text, shapes or visuals, sees the whole first and then the detail, uses free association, has no concept of time, has difficulty prioritizing, is usually late, acts on impulse, is pregnant with differences, makes decisions by trial and error, tends to be SENCENTIVE, strives to feel, is pluralistic, has predominantly feminine characteristics, takes liking and disliking into consideration when making decisions and is in favor of making decisions even if he does not believe in them, looks at intention, values intuition very much, creates emotional fantasies, analyzes emotions and adds emotions to will.
The left brain uses "Manly" and the right brain uses "Womanly" . In "Womanly", emotions are adorned and intensified with adjectives, analogies and generalizations, while in "Manly" , simple and clear information is at the forefront. The man, who usually uses his left brain and is used to using speech only as a means of conveying events and information, misunderstands what the woman is trying to say, feels accused and reacts adversely, instead of rethinking and interpreting what he hears. The woman, who uses her right brain, is offended because she is not understood and thinks that she is not cared for.
1.4.4. Women's Brains Work Differently
The communication between the two lobes of women's brains is greater than that of men. This increases the exchange of information between the "emotional" side of the brain, the right lobe, and the "logical" side, the left lobe. Thus, women can use both lobes of their brains at the same time. For this reason, women have the ability to do several tasks at once. When women come together, they can talk with one voice and listen to each other at the same time, while also being able to produce work thanks to this characteristic.
In men, the communication between the two lobes is weaker than in women; information exchange is more limited. Therefore, their ability to do two things at the same time is almost non-existent. When men come together, one person usually speaks and the others listen. Since women's brains are structured in a way that allows them to move from one subject to another and do this without any limits, they can talk about many subjects at once and jump from detail to detail during a conversation. However, men who have learned to focus on a single subject or action should not be expected to do this. Because this situation causes men to get confused and get bored of the conversation quickly. Therefore, a man will stop listening to a woman who tries to connect to various subjects without specifying the duration of the conversation after a while. However, he should be comfortable knowing that the woman does not actually need a solution, but only needs to be listened to and to share her troubles, should not approach the situation as a problem, and should make her feel that he is listening sincerely.
1.4.5. Women's Need to Talk
One of the biggest mistakes women make is trying to talk to a man while he is thinking or insisting on communicating when he wants to rest. These behaviors can cause conflicts. Men may perceive problems in the relationship as accusations. Women only expect to be listened to and to share their troubles. It is enough for a woman for a man to listen to his wife with interest, express that he understands her and that he is with her no matter what.
Women saying “I have a problem and I just want you to listen to me, I don’t find you guilty of this problem” before starting to talk can prevent men from feeling inadequate and weak. In order to correctly request to be listened to and understood, they should definitely specify a time frame. The most accurate sentence that can be made to express these demands in “Manly” is “I need you to listen to me for half an hour” . In order to direct the man to just listen without forcing him to produce a solution, it would be good to start the conversation with sentences like “You don’t have to produce a solution for what I am telling you” or “Please don’t see what I am going to say as a problem to be solved” .
1.4.6. Women Speak, Men Remain Silent
When a woman has a problem she can't solve, wants to establish closeness, gather information or convey information, wants to feel good and wants to research and find what she wants to say, she wants to get closer immediately, talks more, expects her loved ones and friends to be there for her, wants to be asked a lot of questions about her feelings, wants to be listened to and understood.
When a man is sad and distressed, when he gets too close and starts to forget and lose himself, when he feels the need to return to his own masculine nature, when he needs to think about a problem and find a practical solution, when he cannot come up with a solution, when he does not want to say or do something he will regret later, he becomes silent, quiet, wants to be alone until he feels ready, does not want to see anyone, not even his closest friend, around him. Therefore, if a woman instinctively tries to support him in the way he desires, conflict often arises. The man feels overwhelmed, constricted, and becomes rude and angry in order to push the woman away from him.
When a woman does not respect a man's "need to be alone" and does not leave him alone, the man's "need to get away" increases and the time he spends alone increases. Therefore, a woman should never criticize a man's need to be alone. She should not worry or get upset about him, should not try to get him to talk by asking him about his feelings, should not sit next to him and wait for him. She should not try to help him solve his problems by giving him advice, she should do something that will make her happy (read a book, call a friend and chat, keep a diary, go shopping, do yoga or meditation, go for a walk, listen to music, do sports, get a massage, take a shower, watch TV, etc.). Both women and men need to try to understand each other's languages, not impose their own methods on each other, and learn different thoughts, feelings, sensations and behaviors.
Women think out loud, that is, by talking, they free their thoughts, they discover what they want to say only through the process of speaking, they want to be listened to, understood, and comforted and supported by responses like “Oh, really? And then?” by establishing eye contact, heart contact and skin contact while talking about their feelings.
A man, on the other hand, thinks by talking from within, silently reviews what he has experienced, decides on the most correct answer in his inner world, then expresses it, if he does not have enough information to find the answer, he does not respond at all, most of the time his silence is in this, while he is silent, he wants his freedom to be alone and to be silent to be respected and supported. However, women misunderstand men's silence; they think that they are not loved, special, unique and valuable, they are not cared for, they are afraid of being abandoned. Because a woman only stays silent if she has nothing to say, if she no longer loves or cares about that person, if she wants to end the relationship.
1.4.7. What Kind of Man Does a Woman Want?
The answer to the question “What kind of a man does a woman want?” that men constantly think about but can never find an answer to is actually very simple. A woman wants a man who listens to her and understands her, who has a sense of ownership, who expresses his love by touching and looking, and who is understanding. The only time women think they are defeated and are too weak to fight is when they feel “worthless .” Because women want to feel “valuable .” In order to make her feel this, a man should flatter her, look into her eyes and only listen to her, show that he understands, be compassionate, and make her feel that he is always behind her.
A woman wants a man who expresses her love by touching and looking, who listens patiently, who is passionate, determined, clear, self-confident, charismatic, strong, a leader, who takes ownership of her, makes her feel that she is valuable and worthy of love, takes her under his wing, can say "You're right, my love!" when necessary , promises security and order, and of course, lastly, can compliment her.
Today, women, although much stronger, freer, more attractive, more intelligent and more sexually free, still like to be emotionally cared for like a “goddess” and to be protected and watched over by a “knight” . For this reason, women can never give up being constant rivals with their peers. For a woman, an attractive man must definitely be liked and preferred by another woman, but he must be hers alone. This feeling is one of the number one sources of pleasure for women.
The unique feminine characteristic of women is the most important difference between men and women. A man shows respect for a woman's femininity by being loyal to her and maintaining a monogamous relationship in terms of sex. Thanks to loyalty, a woman feels special. "Monogamy" is the greatest indicator of respect for a woman. In return for all this, a woman feels comfortable and secure, does not feel the need to engage in power struggles and efforts to prove her equality, and does not have to make an effort to have her actions appreciated. In this way, she spends all her energy on her partner and her relationship, and thus life becomes more enjoyable for both men and women. The gift a woman offers to men does not end there. A woman who is instinctively self-sacrificing but cannot express this because she is not valued or respected does not expect anything in return when she makes sacrifices for her man, and appreciates and expresses her gratitude for every gift a man offers her.
Women give more importance to communication than men. Men, on the other hand, prefer to communicate according to their needs. For women, talking and communicating with their partners is a “source of satisfaction.” However, men have a hard time understanding this. They can only understand women’s sense of sharing if they compare it to the satisfaction they feel when they win a race, reach a goal, or solve a problem.
Women are driven by relationships, not by reaching a goal. Women value love, affection, communication, beauty and relationships, especially their partners' attention to them, and unlike men, they need to be valued, cared for and supported. For this reason, they try to live in harmony and loving communication with their partners. Unlike men who draw limits in expressing their love, personal expression of feelings is very important for women.
When women are stressed, they instinctively need to talk about their feelings and all the problems related to them, but men prefer to be alone in the face of any problem. Because men are thought to be completely competent in every subject and when they encounter a problem, they see asking for help from someone else as a weakness. Therefore, an offer of help made to a man makes him feel inadequate and incompetent. Women, on the other hand, perceive the help given to them as kindness and compassion and are pleased with it.
1.4.8. What Kind of Woman Does a Man Want?
Although it is said that men want “sex without love, children without marriage!”, men are also made of flesh and blood. They have feelings and emotions just like women do. Although men are generally not able to make big gestures or surprises for women, they have the awareness of taking responsibility for women and try to make women’s lives easier. Men who want to be sure of women’s love and loyalty want to be appreciated, approved, trusted, loved and feel needed. Every man with a sense of ownership wants to be admired and admired. When men cannot see this, they are dragged into unhappiness, just like women. Receiving and showing attention is a need in itself for both men and women. A woman or man who sees or feels that these needs are not met feels excluded, lonely and unhappy.
It is a fact that men are as sensitive as women in choosing their spouses, and like women, men are also in search of a spouse with whom they will continue their lives. Men always prefer a smiling, well-groomed, sexy and understanding woman. Men who are ready to help want their spouses to be female because they like to see that they are needed. In fact, the determinant of men's "ideal female image" is femininity, in other words, a woman's ability to use her feminine qualities. In order for a woman to reveal her Venus energy, she must always make herself felt as a woman, not only in bed, but also in daily life, among her friends, and at work. In addition, being smiling and understanding is very important not only for men, but also for women.
No one wants to spend their life longing for a smiling face. It is important to remember that the feelings of incomprehension and selfishness that are hidden under their behavior and that constantly emerge consciously or unconsciously are the greatest enemies of relationships; and sweet words are enough to get even a snake out of its hole…
1.5. How to Maintain Happiness in Love?
Couples who live together peacefully and happily know the differences between men and women and respect each other. This is the “trick” . For example, a man should learn that he can support a woman by just listening, even if he has nothing to say. Women should also be aware that men need to withdraw into themselves during stressful times.
In order to achieve peace in their relationships, women and men should know that they are different from each other but come together to complete each other. When women and men realize the power of their complementary characteristics, an attraction occurs between them. They naturally attract each other like the opposite poles of a magnet. In this magnetic field of love, only mutual interaction is enough to produce the electricity of desire, excitement and attraction. However, women and men, especially women, usually seek a partner who is similar to them. However, this search is the greatest enemy of keeping love alive. As long as a couple maintains the attraction that arises from their differences by loving and respecting each other, they can keep love alive. When men and women start to look too much like each other, they lose their attraction. In order to maintain love in their relationships, couples should try to integrate their differences into themselves over time while preserving them. In other words, instead of accepting that they are different and turning these differences into a problem, they should take advantage of them.
1.5.1. The Elixir of Romance and Eroticism
Every person has both a masculine and a feminine side. In men, the “masculine energy” (masculinity), namely Mars energy, is dominant, while in women, the “feminine energy” (femininity), namely Venus energy, is dominant. Thanks to this balance, men experience their masculinity, women their femininity, and they complete each other by establishing healthy communication. The most important thing that separates friendships from close male-female relationships is sexuality. In friendships, there is emotional, intellectual and intellectual closeness, and when sexuality is added to this, it brings about a very different closeness and sharing of intimacy than in friendships. Therefore, what makes a man and a woman a couple is the sexuality between them. Sexuality is also experienced together with romance and eroticism.
Romance and eroticism are two important components of male-female relationships. Women cannot give up on romance, men cannot give up on eroticism. Male and female physiology have different characteristics. Due to their physiology, eroticism is at the forefront for men and romance is at the forefront for women. Today, women generally need the help of their partners to gain their femininity in order to relax and unwind a little because they work in jobs traditionally done by men, which often brings out their masculine side. The best help men can give in this regard is to desire their partners and offer romance.
Romance helps women rediscover their femininity that they have distanced themselves from over time and helps men experience the eroticism they desire. Romantic moments are especially important for couples who do not like to express and share their feelings. Because in romantic moments, the woman feels that she is special and valuable to the man, that the man understands her, accepts her unconditionally, takes ownership of her, shows her respect and support. The sex that occurs as a result of eroticism between the woman and the man who feels these allows the man to connect with his feelings and the feminine side within him and to communicate better with the woman. Thus, the tango-like dance of romance and eroticism strengthens the communication and closeness between the couple and increases passion.
Women and men are physically different from each other, and they are also quite different in terms of sexual thinking. This difference should not be interpreted as “Men only think about sex, their first preference is eroticism .” Because just as women need love and affection before they can be sexually aroused, men also need sexuality first in order to taste and give love. In other words, women need to first reach emotional satisfaction in order to reach sexual satisfaction, and men need to first reach sexual satisfaction in order to reach emotional satisfaction. Therefore, the misconception that men are addicted to sex is actually their desire to bring their feelings to the surface through sexual intercourse.
1.5.2. Developing Romantic Habits
In order for romance to remain alive, the communication between the couple must be very good. “Talking” is one of the most important needs of women, and “being appreciated” is one of the most important needs of men. In order for romance to continue, women want to be touched, listened to, share their feelings and be understood, while men want to be appreciated like a king, approved of and left alone from time to time. When a man develops “romantic habits” by telling a woman “I love you, I value you” and a woman tells a man “I need you”, their relationship can remain healthy.
Romantic habits are simple behaviors that men show their partners that they care by hugging or asking , “Are you okay?” and women show their appreciation by saying nice things like , “You’re amazing!” It’s not necessary to spend a lot of money on gifts and fancy restaurants for romantic behavior. Eating dinner alone by candlelight, buying a bouquet of flowers, giving compliments, expressing feelings, showing interest, holding hands, holding arms, hugging, preparing a photo album, watching a romantic movie together, remembering and celebrating the firsts they experienced, all help keep the romance alive.
Dancing is an activity that evokes romance and eroticism. Especially South American dances such as tango, which consist of the couple's agile movements, emit sexual signals because they require harmony, touch and rhythm and are preferred by many couples who want to revitalize their love lives. Because tango, the dance of lust, is known as the "dancing state of bodies" . Tango, which can give life to problematic relationships, is a dance of attraction and passion, as well as a game of integration that takes the breath away, makes desire submit and gives the most beautiful response to passion. The basic strategies of this game are seduction, getting closer and further away. The man manages the game, the woman adapts, this is apparently the order of tango, but eroticism and romance that take over the relationship of bodies change the balance over time. The woman resists, takes back her body that she has surrendered to the man with a look, the control passes from the body to the look, from the man to the woman and thus balance is achieved in the aphrodisiac tango, the dance of romance and eroticism.
A man who caresses a woman's soul, in other words, who exhibits romantic behavior, also unknowingly activates feminine instincts. Because communication, romance, eroticism and trust between partners are essential for sex. Romance is an important tool that increases feelings of communication and trust in sexuality, where love alone is not enough. In addition, being desired by a man makes a woman feel special and valuable, and prepares her for sex. Therefore, the shortest way for men to see in real life the female figure that adorns their dreams, who is active in bed, who talks about sex, who openly expresses her desires, wishes and expectations, and who makes sexual demands without waiting for the first move, is through romance. A woman who receives romance from a man also gives eroticism in return.
If we say, “ Feed your woman’s femininity, support your manhood! ” we wouldn’t be wrong. Because the simplest behaviors that partners can perform towards each other, which women and men always complain about but rarely voice and mostly sigh about when looking for a solution, are experienced in sexuality. Therefore, instead of complaining about everything being expected of them, men should try to be a romantic man.
Romance strengthens the communication between the couple. Thanks to the strengthened communication, it is possible to communicate about sexuality, which is almost never talked about. A sudden excitement or feeling of happiness triggers the secretion of hormones that play an important role in activating sexual urges. The man creating romantic moments and making small surprises, performing a long-dreamed or expected behavior, approaching the woman, listening to her, trying to understand her, behaving in a way that will make her feel special and valuable and saying nice words, in short, meeting the woman's emotional needs and creating romantic habits nourishes his masculinity as much as his partner's femininity. In this way, it is possible for the couple to enjoy a satisfying and continuous sexuality.
The habits acquired from childhood, roles determined by society, upbringing styles, learned behavioral patterns and conditionings of women and men are different. The most striking of these differences is that women behave more emotionally and show love. Women are more romantic than men, so they want to experience romance at every moment of their relationship. Therefore, they experience more romance in bed than men, and this inevitably leads to differences in the way they experience sexuality. There are very different concepts in the minds of women and men about the “ideal sexual relationship” . When it comes to sexuality, the first thing that comes to mind for men is to perform well and enjoy having an orgasm, while for women, it is the emotional satisfaction created by much more intense romance and eroticism. Women first think of love and passion, long foreplay, and then penis-vagina together. In sexuality, they want to experience love, passion and closeness as a whole.
Women prefer men who verbally express their feelings, thoughts and love. For men, visuals are important. What attracts men the most is a well-groomed and beautiful woman. In other words, a man communicates with the woman he likes through sexuality. For women, the sense of worthiness and romance that a man makes her feel are at the forefront. Every woman who is at peace with her own body, confident, well-groomed and understated, and who feels sexy is attractive and appealing. In order for a woman to be successful in revealing her Venus energy, it is very important for her to feel and make others feel that she is a woman not only in bed but also in every aspect of life. Otherwise, the masculine side, which has a harsh temperament and lacks naivety, becomes dominant in women. The emotional dimension of the relationship, as well as its sexual dimension, is affected by this situation and problems are inevitable.
1.6. Love and Sex
Men and women, who are psychologically and physiologically different from each other, also have different expectations regarding love and sexuality. Romance is often perceived as a situation specific to women. Romance is a way of finding love and sexual excitement. Eroticism, which men attribute meaning to and expect from women, is a whole of emotions that includes all emotions related to love and is actually more intense than romanticism. There are many emotions in eroticism that are not usually prominent in romanticism, such as lust, sexual passions, dreams, desires, and a sense of ownership. Contrary to popular belief, the basis of eroticism, which derives from the name of the god of love Eros, is not sex, but love and passion for love.
Sexuality, which includes feelings, thoughts, relationships and decisions, is more than what we do sexually with another person, that is, sexuality is not just about having sex or engaging in sexual behaviors. Sexuality is how we feel as a man or a woman, the way we dress, how we act, how we talk, how we treat other people and how we feel about them. These are the components that make up who we are as a person throughout our lives, from birth to death. Our sexuality is a natural part of who we are. Sexuality is not about what we do, but about who we are and how we live. It is a necessary part of everyone's life, a basic need and a human aspect that cannot be separated from other aspects of life, whether male or female.
“Having sex” is the science and art of knowing oneself and the other, in a relaxed and relaxed state, focusing on the pleasure and feeling of making love and touching, without setting any “performance goals”, without the pressure to satisfy anyone, breaking away from time, swaying slowly, rhythmically and harmoniously, being able to receive and give pleasure, balancing Mars and Venus, sharing the soul and body “like a gift” , and being able to have an orgasm in some way or another, no matter what. This very special art is often called “ sexual function”, “sexual intercourse”, “sexual intercourse” or “coitus” , and in this art, being desired for women and the erection of the penis for men are essential.
Love and sex are such a bundle of emotions that everyone experiences them differently and deeply, passing to another world and that is why MetaSex is the secret of life. Love and sex are an inseparable duo; neither sex without love nor love without sex makes you happy. True happiness, that is, the secret of life, is reached when both are experienced together.
The English equivalent of the word "love " comes from the word "libido" . Libido is a spiritual energy that motivates all kinds of sexual, social and biological activities and activates the life instinct. The greatest life energy of man is sexuality.
Love , which is the sharing of love with the soul and body , is a very complex and emotional structure where sexuality and affection are kneaded together. Love has many different shades and in MetaSex, the lust-soaked tone of love is dominant. Lustful love, which ensures that love's feet are firmly planted on the ground, and sex, which emerges as a result of it, are the most powerful phenomena that make a person feel their presence and perceive themselves first as "I" , then "we" , and then "I" again. Like sex, where the body and soul unite as a whole, love is a "transcendent" and "sublime" feeling where a person presents themselves naked to the other person .
In MetaSex, every person is a microcosm of the universe and MetaSex is a microscopic reflection of cosmic models. In this case, every woman is a feminine energy, Venus energy; every man is a masculine energy, Mars energy. Therefore, when a man looks at a woman, he should not only feel that woman but also the Venus energy inside him, but for this, the woman must be aware of her own Venus energy. Today, women have become so concerned with being equal to men that they have begun to think that the way to do this is to dress and act like men. As these women try to be tough like men, they forget their femininity and force the Venus energy inside them to sleep. However, women and men are complementary to each other, just like Yin and Yang. In other words, all a woman has to do is know how to enjoy being a woman.
1.6.1. Why is Sex Important in a Male-Female Relationship?
Intimacy and sexuality are cyclical in relationships. Just as intimacy can occur without sexuality, sexuality can exist without intimacy. However, when sexuality and intimacy are integrated, the positive interaction between them results in a higher degree of sexual capacity and a strong commitment in the relationship. Psychological closeness motivates the partner's sexual behavior, and sexual behavior creates a new degree of psychological closeness. In a male-female relationship, these two systems function as one. In other words, sex is the basis of a healthy and happy relationship, and sex is the basis of a healthy and happy relationship. Sex creates a perfect and special bond with someone you love or are loved. In addition, sex can save an existing relationship from its routine and keep it alive, and relieve the couple's fatigue. Because sex connects the couple, shows how much they are in love and committed to each other, and makes them more resistant to stress and challenging conditions. In fact, having an orgasm once a day protects the couple from diseases by balancing their oxytocin, estrogen, and testosterone levels.
The pleasures of sex are physical and psychological. Sex can create new delicious sensations and pleasant feelings before, during and after orgasm. When a person gives pleasure to his partner, he experiences a sense of power. The ability to give and receive pleasure increases interest in the other and creates a sense of being in touch with the other. These are the means to create a sense of unity.
In order to avoid sexual problems, the couple should talk about their sexual behaviors and sexual fantasies and passionately touch each other outside of sex. However, if they have a sexual problem, they should first accept it, seek solutions by reading personal development and sex education books, and if they cannot solve their problems on their own, they should consult a sex therapist.
1.6.2. Complementation of Men and Women
Although sexuality means different things to everyone, it is a healthy and natural activity that is enjoyed by each individual and is a special experience that provides sharing and closeness between couples, a symbol of love, closeness and emotional bond. When sexuality becomes an act that is enjoyed one-sidedly, it can become a source of significant problems both individually and in terms of the couple relationship. A woman can make love without enjoying it, she can even pretend to enjoy it and get her partner off. Women are very prone to this due to their nature and physiology, but men do not make love without enjoying it, because if a man does not enjoy it, he cannot get hard, and if he cannot get hard, he cannot continue. Therefore, making love without enjoying it is a phenomenon specific to women. One of the most important reasons for this is sexual myths.
Because of sexual myths, which are false superstitions spread by word of mouth, most women believe that only men enjoy sex and that sex is for men. They think that women do not need to enjoy sex, that they have to do it as a duty to keep the man. Many women who grow up in a cultural structure where such false beliefs about sex exist, see themselves as a “bad woman” when they enjoy sex . They feel guilty and ashamed when they enjoy sex, feeling that sex is a shameful, forbidden, sinful act. This feeling of guilt and shame can be so strong that they do not find it appropriate to enjoy sex.
Sexuality means love, it means sharing love. It is the offering of the soul and body as a gift in a very special way. Sexuality is the most intimate experience that distinguishes the male-female relationship from other relationships. The differences between men and women are the richness of the couple, creating the passion and attraction between them. Due to their biopsychosocial differences, men and women are not "equal" but "partners" .
This companionship is based on completing each other, of course equality is necessary in terms of life rights, but such equality is not in human nature in terms of sexuality. Nature has made positive discrimination in favor of women and given them the opportunity to have more sexual pleasure. This information was also the subject of mythology centuries before it was obtained in the light of scientific research today.
According to legend, the Greek god Tiresias was cursed, his body turned into a woman's and he lived as a woman for seven years. When Zeus and Hera got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more, men or women, they called Tiresias, who had experienced both sexes, and asked him. Tiresias said that women enjoyed sex ten times more than men.
Contrary to sexual myths, women's capacity to enjoy sex is three times greater than men's. In other words, if a man enjoys sex one, a woman can enjoy three, because women are a higher version of men. A woman's physiological structure that allows her to enjoy pleasure is better equipped than a man's. A woman's clitoris has three times as many nerve cells as a man's penis, which carry the feeling of pleasure to the brain.
Another important feature of women's sexual pleasure equipment is the woman's capacity to have multiple orgasms. After a man has had an orgasm once, he needs a certain amount of time to get hard again. In women, there is no need for such a period of time; a woman can have multiple orgasms in a row. Most women, who have a magnificent sexual pleasure capacity, have sex without feeling worthy of this capacity, and even without being aware of this capacity. This is one of the reasons for unhappiness in couple relationships, because this situation, where the man enjoys and has an orgasm, and the woman feels like a tool for the man to enjoy, sooner or later causes many problems such as irritability, frigidity, and painful sexual intercourse in the woman. These problems can also lead to conflicts in the couple relationship. Even worse, a woman in this situation can pass this culture on to her own daughter, thus increasing unhappiness like a curse passed down from mother to daughter.
For most women, sexuality begins with marriage. In our society, the value of a woman who is getting married is determined by her sexual inexperience, and virginity is sanctified. When girls are raised, they are taught that sexuality is exclusive to men, that only men enjoy it, and that it is a " woman's duty" that is often sickening and painful for women, but must be fulfilled in order to continue the marriage and become a mother .
Due to family and social pressure, false beliefs about sexuality, inadequate sexual education, and sexuality being considered shameful, sinful or forbidden, women cannot learn enough about sexuality, let alone learn about it, they cannot even add it to their vocabulary. Women who do not know about sexuality or often do not experience it until they get married, start having sex with marriage. However, for a woman who has never fantasized about sex throughout her life, who has been ashamed of herself when she desires someone, who thinks she is committing a crime or sinning, who sees the hymen as the most important structure to be protected, who has never masturbated, who is alienated from her own body, who perceives sexuality as a duty she must fulfill towards her husband or as a way to show her that she loves him, sex can turn into an unwanted situation rather than a beautiful experience to be enjoyed. Most of the time, the man is the active one in bed, the man determines the length, shortness and style of the relationship, if the man wants, he makes love, if he does not, he does not. The woman begins to perceive being able to comply with the man's desires as an indicator of a happy sexuality. This disrupts the process of seeing sexuality as a right and a source of pleasure as a woman.
1.7. Final Word
The boundaries of love are like an immeasurable universe and have different meanings for each of us. Perhaps the lifespan of love is just a momentary touch, a look that makes our hearts beat faster, or a union that lasts for years. The lifespan of love is independent of the constraints of time and numbers. It is impossible to define, limit or put it in a box. Love is one of the strongest, deepest and most complex emotions in human history. Perhaps that is why it is so immeasurably fascinating and each of us has our own unique story about love.
Love is a power that stirs our hearts, keeps us alive and gives us meaning. Love brings people together, transcends boundaries and overcomes all obstacles. Love is a feeling that stops time, makes us forget everything and takes us to another dimension. We cannot determine the lifespan of love. The important thing is to live this beautiful feeling. It is important to open our hearts, be filled with love and approach others with love. Because love is a gift that multiplies when shared.
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